I hate the dentist. And today was a day for me going to the dentist. I did notice a little glee in the eyes of my dogs since I had subjected them the doggie dentist just a few weeks ago. So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when I was wanting a nice goodbye smooch from them this morning and I got nothing but the cold Pekingese shoulder. Yep, they pretty much ignored me as if to say, You’re on your own sucker!
I wonder why someone would go into the field of dentistry in the first place? I am personally grossed out by the thought of looking inside someone else’s mouth — and to do it multiple times a day? That’s just nasty. Ok, I just threw up a little in my mouth just thinking about it. Let’s not talk about looking inside someone else’s mouth.
So, I went to the dentist today because it was time for my dental checkup, teeth cleaning and also because it’s on my list of things to do today. (That was a not so subtle reference to my blog yesterday about my obsessive list making tendencies) It is important to note that I did not go because any of my teeth were specifically hurting. But now after spending time with a dentist my teeth hurt!
The dentist…..a doctor of denistry is someone that has gone to 8 years of medical school to get business cards with a DDS and EVIL after their name. Ok, my teeth are really hurting now. Hmmm, wasn’t the whole point of today’s little dental exercise to prevent my teeth from hurting in the future? Well it’s the future now and my teeth are throbbing. I need an Advil or an Aleve, it’s as simple as that. I think the dentists around the world work in cahoots with the makers of Aleve and Advil, because you don’t need those products until after you have been to the dentist. It’s all muckery I tell you.
I love having a nice white smile and I guess that’s why I put up with the shenanigans I went through with today. In fact, when I meet someone for the first time one of the first things I notice about them is their smile….(oh, and then their shoes)
I am pretty convinced that as evil as dentists are, it had to have been a dentist who invented the concept of trick-or-treating. Who else benefits so much by kids all over the world walking around the neighborhood dressed as a pirate or an elephant or a ballerina, holding open an empty pillow case and asking complete strangers to dump mounds and mounds of sugary candy into it? The dentist and their equally wicked dental hygienist.
Have you ever noticed that every dentist on the planet employs some of the prettiest girls as their dental hygienist? Think about it…you will never see an unattractive dental hygienist, or even a guy dental hygienist? Nope… That’s because they don’t exist. I think I figured out why. It’s because the evil dentist disarms you first with a pretty face….so you let you guard down and totally forget about the mayhem that is going to be happening inside your mouth in a few minutes after it is all numb.
The bottom line friends is this girl would rather spend an hour at the Manhattan DMV than an hour at the dentist. Yeh, they both can be down right disgusting and are pretty painful, but at least when you walk out of the DMV you’re not drooling like a fool.
Ok….I have errands to run.
Have a blessed day!