This an open letter to Old Man Winter
I know who you are, and I know what you are doing. This isn’t my first time at the rodeo.
Each year you waltz into my life as if we were lost lovers. News flash you’re not my BFF, I would never friend you on Facebook and if you’re looking for a tweet from me on Twitter you’re in for a long wait. You’re in the weather business, have you ever heard of the expression, “When Hell freezes over?”…I’m just sayin’
Oh sure, we had a little courtship when I was 4 years old and I would run outside to greet you. I would draw pictures of a heart on the iced over car windows and I really loved to make angels in the freshly fallen snow you left me. You were a cool guy back then and I liked hanging around you. You made things so different for me from the long hot summers I had to endure living in upstate New York. Yah, I thought you were fun and cool, but what did I know about relationships back then? I was just a baby, I was still drooling on myself for crying out loud.
But I have grown up a lot since then Mr. Winter, and I do not like you or your best friend Jack Frost. Both of you literally send chills up my spine.
Do you know because of you, I must swap out my entire wardrobe once a year? I’m a girl, if you haven’t noticed Mr. Winter. I can’t just throw on an extra old Nike T-shirt or wear a flannel shirt like a boy can. I need totally different clothes whenever you come around. That’s why I must have a whole separate closet just to accommodate all the things you put me through. Do you have any idea how expensive that is Mr. Winter? Do you even care Mr. Winter? I doubt it. You have never even offered to pay off my Kohls’ bill each winter….some gentleman you are.
So guess what I had to do today, Mr. Winter? I had to spend several hours of my valuable time swapping out my clothes from one closet to another. I knew it was time to do it because I have seen you lurking around my neighborhood. You are not so sneaky anymore in your old age Mr. Winter. I know you are stalking me because I can see the evidence you are back in town. There’s the leaves on the ground, the long lines at the tire store and the snot running down little kid’s noses. The evidence is there and it’s all because of you. I hope you’re happy, old man.
And now you are just teasing me with the beautiful fall days we had this weekend. A nice crisp nip in the air is fine, in fact, it’s perfect for my daily run. But a nor’easter blowing through town…not so much fun. I know how nasty you can be. I am a girl. I don’t forget crap like that. I know you think I still want to court you, but I don’t. It’s over!
I have a new man in my life. And today I’m going to sit down in front of the fireplace with my Sweetie, wearing a newly discovered sweater from my “winter” clothes while I sip a cup of hot cocoa.