I am so glad that the weekend is here. I can just relax a little bit and escape into Ava’s little world. But first, I want to share something wonderful that happened to me.
From time to time I experience something that lets me know that God is indeed looking over me. I call these very special moments a God Wink. Sometimes it is finding a shiny penny that is lying heads up on the ground. Sometimes a God Wink is running into an old friend that I had been meaning to call for a long time, but hadn’t. Sometimes the God Winks are really obvious and then other times I don’t notice them until much later. I have seen them appear in so many different ways!
Once when I was telling my manager Mr. Bricks about some of my God Winks he said, “Ava I know what you mean. It happened to me just the other day. I went into a Pizzeria for a slice of pepperoni and they were having a special, 2 slices for the price of one! God Wink.” I thought to myself, no Mr. Bricks, that’s not a God Wink, that’s obesity.
Ok, so yesterday my blog was all about the full moon and how it seemed like there was a force field surrounding me and creating all sorts of chaos. Well, when I was done writing the blog I actually felt like the force field had been lifted from me. I am noticing that writing a blog is very similar emotionally to me to that of writing a song.
Usually when I have those strong good or bad emotions is what prompts me to write a song. As I have said before, once a song comes to me, it just flows out of my pea sized brain, like jelly out of Mr. Bricks’ morning doughnut! Once it is down on paper I do not feel the strong emotions as much anymore. It is like the act of getting it down on paper has lifted them from me. For the songs, the emotions come flooding back when I record the song or sing it again in a concert.
When I wrote the song “I Carry you With Me” it was a deep personal song with a great deal of emotion attached. To this day when I sing it, tears still well up in my eyes.
Well yesterday I felt so good after writing the blog and for leaving my emotions at the keyboard that when I went for my usual 5 mile run it turned into a 6 mile run because I had so much new-found energy. I honestly did not expect writing a blog would give me more energy but it has.
So during my run I felt a sense of calm come upon me. It was as if God himself was running beside me. Now I may appear to some people as the Blonde Greek girl who has it all going on. I must admit I have my moments of insecurities just like everyone else. However, maybe mine are a little different from people not in the entertainment industry. For example, from time to time I will wonder if my music is making a positive impact in other people lives. For me, that’s what its all about. Don’t tell Mr. Bricks this, but I would do what I do for free, I really would. Because I am not in this business for the fame or the money, but to make a difference in this world. I take my role as a citizen of this planet earth seriously. OK, some of you are now saying I knew it, she’s a whack job!! But seriously, I am not your typical rocker chick who is just in it for herself.
So after a day of muckery on Thursday and then spilling my guts about it on the blog yesterday morning, I found myself wondering if I was indeed making a difference in other people’s lives? For some reason that thought keep playing like an endless loop in my mind during my 6 mile run as the new CD “Something For The Rest Of Us” from The Goo Goo Dolls was blasting from my iPod into ear buds. (Author’s Note: I just love the Goo Goo Dolls)
Well everything from the past few days came full circle about an hour later when I was at home and opened what I thought was a regular piece of fan mail. It turned out to be an order for some of my CD’s and a “We The People” T-shirt – (which is always nice, I’m not gonna lie.)
What was different about this order was what this fan also included in their order. They added a hand written note that said, “Ava, I know you are an independent artist and you’re not on a major record label yet, so here is a check for the merchandise and there is a little something extra for you. Keep up the good work, you are making a difference.”
Well, folks that little God Wink was all I needed to realize that despite full moons, despite the unexplained muckery and despite any sort of tom-foolery Mr. Bricks might bring into the mix, I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And I like that.