With all of the hoopla in Oklahoma surrounding the passing of ballot initiative “Question 755″ — or the “Save Our State” constitutional amendment — which bans Sharia Law from being considered in Oklahoma courts I thought I would have a little fun with my blog today. Personally, I am amazed that it is now being challenged in the Oklahoma State court. “Question 755” passed with a 70% approval rating from the great people of Oklahoma. Apparently, someone did not get the “We The People” memo from last Tuesday – just sayin’.
So, I was thinking last night maybe I could try to get my manager Mr. Bricks to help me institute Ava Law over the people of Oklahoma and the rest of the country. If I am successful, here is some of the muckery that would Likely ensue.
Ava Pronounced: (AY vah); (AH vah) Meaning voice. Therefore, when I speak you shall be silent. You hear me Mr. Bricks?
Purists, traditionalists and fundamentalists who all hold a different view than that of Ava Law will be sent to Canada for six months to think about why they want to be different from me. Look at it like an adult “time out” of sorts.
Different states and different regions of the country will have variations of Ava Law. In California it will be known as “Like Ava Law” and in the south it will be known as “Ava Law Ya’ll.” In Boston it will be simply known as “Avar Lrar.”
All music coming from radios, televisions or mp3 players should be Ava’s music. What you don’t have it yet? No worries you can download it here.
All print media like your morning newspapers for example will be replaced with my blog. Newspapers are too depressing anyway. Wouldn’t you rather start the day with a little ray of sunshine & humor from your favorite Greek blonde one instead of the depressing economic news? With the holiday’s rapidly approaching have you noticed your mailbox filling up with magazines and catalogues from every company under the sun? Ava Law will forbid the delivery of any mail-order catalogue except the one from Kohls. The only acceptable magazines under Ava Law are Runner’s World, Health & Fitness and Billboard Magazine. Your over stuffed mailbox problem is now solved.
Sports are stupid, they too will be banned.
All McDonald’s Restaurants will be turned into local food banks for the needy. Instead of selling McDonald’s fast food from those locations they will now distribute real food to the needy and homeless. Sorry Mr. Bricks.
Chocolate and coffee will be officially named as food groups.
The Joy Bahr Show, The View (with Joy Bahar) and any stand-up comedy specials with Joy Bahar will be banned from all broadcast TV outlets until she apologizes publically for being such a Debbie Downer about everything.
Ava Law will also deal with many topics unaddressed by secular law, including bad drivers, foul language and in appropriate PDA (public display of affection) from senior citizens, as well as personal matters such as sloppy dressing, bad diet and lack of exercising. After all, the old saying is your body is a temple…not a circus tent, remember?
Where it enjoys official status, which is currently only in the Aston household, Ava Law is applied by Ava. Ava has 100% of the responsibilities of the interpretation of Ava Law; because well, I’m Ava. The same totalitarian leadership of Ava Law will be implemented across the country as it is in the Aston home.
The introduction of Ava Law is a longstanding goal for the Ava movements in all countries, they just don’t know it yet. Some parts of Canada have attained institutional recognition of Ava Law to adjudicate their personal and community affairs. In a few western countries, where Ava has recently had the opportunity to travel to have introduced Ava Family Law, for use in their own disputes within families, with varying degrees of success might I add.
Attempts to impose Ava Law is expected to induce controversy, violence, and even warfare. Let’s just say, Ava Law it’s not for the faint of heart, ask Mr. Bricks who currently operates under Ava Law.
Have a happy day my friends.
Photo of Ava Aston © 2010 Ava Aston. All rights reserved.