Today I went to a local coffee shop and ordered an ice coffee to go. “We don’t have that” said Zelda the unimpressed preoccupied cashier doing her best Lindsay Lohan I’m-in-court-and-you’re wasting-my-time-impression. I asked if they had ice? Zelda said “Yah” I asked if they had coffee? Again Zelda replied in the affirmative slang by saying “Yah” So I said, well can’t you put some ice in a cup and then put some coffee in it? Zelda said, “We don’t sell it like that.” But I will pay you for a full cup of coffee I insisted. I could tell I was wasting my time. All I was going to hear from mean girl Zelda was “We don’t sell it like that“, “We don’t sell it like that” and that was going to be her final answer. She had no life…I had no life lines.
Unfortuantely, that is not the first time I have been told “We don’t sell it like that” when I was asking for something that was extremely simple to do for anyone with a half of brain and a pulse. Don’t think I am making fun of the people who work at the counters of fast food restaurants, I’m not. I’m just sayin’ sometimes they need to think outside the box, err, outside the Jack-in-the-box. Besides my very own Mr. Bricks actually worked at a McDonald’s way back when. He said it was so long ago their sign only said, “A Couple of Burgers Sold”.
It has been discussed here on this blog before that unlike my manager Mr. Bricks who eats at McDonald’s on a daily basis, I only frequent it rarely. And then usually only for a treat to myself after I finished working out. But every time I do walk into the Golden Arches I know Billions and Billions of instances for potential muckery is just around the corner. The McDonlad’s Corporation did not get to be the biggest and cheapest fast food franchise in the world by hiring MIT graduates to work their counter service for them.
So, just like my experience today with an attempt to order an ice coffee at the coffee shop, I recently tried to order what I thought was a simple caramel sundae at McDonald’s. I always order a plain sundae NO TOPPING PLEASE. And then I ask for 2 packets of the caramel dip that they give to kids for their apple dippers. I always offer to pay what it costs for the packets of caramel dip. To me, the yummy factor of it is worth the few cents they might need to charge me. The cashier came back with a hot fudge sundae. I explained, No, I don’t want a hot fudge sundae I asked for plain.
The cashier went back to the soft serve machine grabbed a new cup and returned with a 1/2 filled cup and 2 packets of caramel dip. I explained that just because I was getting a hot fudge sundae without the hot fudge I still should get a full cup of ice cream. That sensible outburst from me prompted a swift McIntervention from a nearby hovering supervisor, “We don’t sell it like that.” I offered to pay for the packets of caramel dip but was again simply told, “We don’t sell it like that.”
Maybe I should try Burger King. Haven’t I once heard them advertise that I can have it my way? Somehow I hardly doubt that to be true, unless I was ordering just a Whopper with Cheese. Maybe I will go there and order a Whopper with cheese, and then say, “but I don’t want cheese on it.” Do you still think I can have it my way??
See Burger King actually did advertise in their jingles, “Special orders don’t upset us….” Now they just advertise that creepy King sneaking into people’s bedrooms to promote their new breakfast items. Wonder why they dropped that line about having it your way from their advertising? Oh wait, I know…. maybe it’s because it’s easier and way cheaper for the King’s princesses and princes at the counter to now just say, “We don’t sell it like that.”
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