Hell’s Kitchen

Tonight was another episode of Fox’s reality series, Hell’s Kitchen. For those of  you who have never watched it the premise is simple: Invite 10 -12 wannabe head chiefs to be filmed getting screamed at and cursed at because the risotto is under cooked or the scallops are raw. End of story. But I’m not talking about that Hell’s Kitchen.

This would be a real red-neck’s actual kitchen, and to me that would also be a Hell’s Kitchen or a kitchen from Hell, not sure which. By the way, the clothes line in the kitchen is a nice touch. Either way, I’m not talking about that kitchen either.

I’m talking about my own Hell’s Kitchen — Greek style. And not because I’m a master chef, because I’m not. Most of the meals I cook are healthy for you and fairly simple meals. Like this one.

This would be one of my yummo dinners that is made in Greek blonde girl’s kitchen. It has just the right amount of protein and carbs, everything my body needs to keep me going. Remember when I work out two hours a day, I need to cook the right foods to properly fuel my body. I know not everyone puts cottage cheese on a baked potato, but if you haven’t tried it, you should. It is much healthier for you than gobs of butter, bacon, sour cream and cheddar cheese. And if you salt and pepper your baked potato just try and limit the amount of salt. Massive amounts of sodium in your body plays havoc on you when you want to get into those skinny jeans.

OK, so if the meals I make in my own kitchen (or made by my Sweetie) are healthy and no one is cussing or throwing things then why do I consider it Hell’s Kitchen you might ask? Let me tell you why. I can explain in two simple words – Mr. Bricks

It seems that my manager Mr. Bricks has some of the strangest eating habits known to man (and some not known to man).  From time to time I send him pictures of what a really healthy meal looks like. He then calls me gagging, saying that the picture I just text him made him vomit a little in his throat. It seems he has these really warped guidelines bout what can be served in the kitchen. Here are a few of his bizarre eating habits and rules about food:

1. No hot liquids. The dude is a freak. Mr. Bricks doesn’t eat soups or drink coffee, hot tea or hot chocolate…none of it. I do not know how he even functions without coffee. That alone makes me suspicious if he is really even human.

2. You can not mix food groups on top of each other. That is why he has an issue with putting the cottage cheese on the baked potato.

3. Corn is the only edible vegetable as a side dish. Vegetables in salad can only be tomatoes and lettuce. and it can only be iceberg lettuce in the salad, no romaine lettuce or spinach allowed. Wouldn’t you know iceberg lettuce is the least nutritional of all of the lettuces.

4.  Diet Coke is a food group and can be consumed at any meal.

5. Oh wait, another issue is that you can not mix hot and cold foods…I’m tellin’ you he’s –C-R-A-Z-Y.

One time I invited him over for a breakfast meeting at my house. When I thought he wasn’t looking I put some protein powder in the waffle mix. I was hoping to get something good into his body for once. Well, I might as well killed his dog. He ate the waffles, but he wasn’t too happy about having to eat healthy waffles. He should be thankful that I had even bought pure maple syrup for the occasion. I normally buy the healthy sugar free kind and not the stuff with 10,000 calories per serving. Hey, I am on stage in front of the public all the time and I don’t want to have a butt the size of Montana — just sayin’

No more home cooked meals for Mr. Bricks because it’s like Hell in the kitchen trying to cook something that he likes.  That is… unless I go and get a McRib from McDonald’s and serve it to him on a plate (but that is never happening).

Blessings,

Ava

xox

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About Ava Aston's Muckery

Hello! Thanks for stopping by. My name is Ava Aston and I am a recording artist and actress. I'm just an ordinary girl who acts, sings, writes songs and now writes this blog. I hope you enjoy my blogging enough to want to subscribe. Blessings, Ava If you want to learn even more about me, check out my website at www.avaaston.com
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6 Responses to Hell’s Kitchen

  1. Addy says:

    Hey AVA,

    Thank you sooo much for dropping by my blog and commenting and liking my post! Hope you enjoyed my story as well… Am trying my level best to get many viewers to my story as possible..

    Thanks once again, will add you to my blogroll as soon as possible!

    Best wishes,
    Addy

  2. davehitt29 says:

    Hahahaha Funny!! At least I eat soup and drink COFFEE Hehehehehe

  3. bobbishop says:

    I must commend you on your commitment to being the best that you can be. A proper diet, exercise, and a positive outlook on life are wonderful attributes.
    Yep I almost, writing that. 🙂
    Bob’s Diet> Caffeine and nicotine are the foundation, Iceberg Lettuce a must all other forms of green leafy things growing on the grounds surface should be called as they really are, weeds. Syrup comes from trees. Dairy Products come from cows, and you cannot consume to much, butter goes on everything cooked and fried. And all meat is fried in butter, other than turkey of course. And finally the Golden Arches, no that is one fine eatery.

    So if you haven’t passed out yet, catch you breath and know that you are simply the kind of person we all wish we could be more like, except that Greek part, but you could not help that.

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