Wrapping a white bath towel around my blonde hair to give myself the best swami appearance…. Here are the Greek girl’s predictions for 2011.
- Lindsay Lohan will be arrested for possession of drugs
- Lindsay Lohan will avoid jail time by crying and asking for rehab
- Lindsay Lohan will get released from rehab and make a mockery of the court system
- See number #1
- The state of California will declare bankruptcy
- The state of California will be purchased from the US bankruptcy court by a Mexican drug cartel
- 3 random celebrities will die within a short period of time of each other
- I will get a record deal ( right Mr. Bricks?)
- CBS will change the meaning of their corporate name to (CBS) Complete Bull Shit
- NBC and ABC will follow suit with their name changes to (NBC) Never Been Correct and (ABC) Always Bull Crap
- My blog will not win a Pulitzer Prize
- Sneakers will become all of the rage at NY’s Fashion Week
- McDonald’s will introduce the “Double McRib” – 2 fake processed pork patties in BBQ sauce with pickles and onions on a toasted bun. My manager Mr. Bricks will be their first customer
- I will get to 10,000 “likes” on my Facebook Fan Page
- My dog Punkin will hijack my blog again
- TSA will get a smack down after a pat down with the Hell’s Angels
- John Walsh and America’s Most Wanted will announce they found Osama Bin Laden. Amazingly, he was living in Washington DC and had a job with an eight figures a year salary in the Obama Administration as an advisor on Muslim tolerance in America
- General Mills will rescind their Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy about their cereal mascots much to the liking of the Lucky Charms dude and the Trix rabbit
- The ESPN executive who approved a tv special about the paper, rock, scissors national championships will be promoted to Head of Programming at MTV
- With the success of Michael Jackson’s latest CD, Madonna will have herself declared legally dead to help boost her lackluster sales
- The Biggest Loser TV show will be cancelled because Michelle Obama solved the nation’s obesity problem by making the sales of Girl Scout thin mint cookies illegal
- The surprise reveal on Oprah’s final show will be that she isn’t retiring. Oprah will also shock her audience by announcing that she will pay off the home mortgages for everyone in the country
- A sex tape will be leaked starring Miley Cyrus. The title of the video will be “Hannah Banana Fe Fi Fo Montana”
- All 12,200 Burger King outlets in 73 countries will be permanently closed by the FDA because they serve beef and it offended one Muslim woman in Boise, Idaho. A similar claim against Wendy’s will be dismissed when the FDA determines that Wendy’s doesn’t use real meat in their products
- My blogs throughout 2011 will continue to be filled with useless trivia, accounts of my day-to-day muckery, jabs at my manager Mr. Bricks and yes some typos from time to time. Would you want it any other way?
These are just my predictions — I might not get them all right, but I feel really strong about most of them! Hopefully you enjoyed my light-hearted blog today and it was my sincerest desire that I made you smile on this Christmas Eve.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
Two days left to get a great deal on my CD’s. Click on the banner ad to check it out.