For two hundred plus years we have had to listen to Presidents stand up and tell us the state of the union. They go on national television and all you hear is Blah blah, blah, blah and then 73 minutes later they say..In conclusion..
That’s crap. Since when does a president have any idea what is really going on in this country? How can anyone describe the state of the union unless they are actually living the life that the majority of Americans are living? Just a hunch, if the President has a hankering for a slice of pizza at 3 Am he doesn’t have to worry about the freaks who are hanging around the 24-hour pizza joints. All he has to do is push a room service button on his phone and someone brings him a slice. It’s like the old saying…”If you want to really get to know a person, walk a mile in their sneakers.”
I may be just a rocker chick and not the President of the United States. But since I don’t have to rely on the secret service to make sure the Presidential Seal doesn’t fall off of the podium again. I don’t have to wait for a bunch of high-priced politicians to agree on ways to screw the American public, so I can deliver my State of The Union address way before the ink dries on the cue cards for President Obama’s State of The Union address. You know what they say…the early bird gets the worm. (That saying kinda creeps me out)
So here is The Greek Blonde Girl’s State of The Union address for 2011.
Mister Speaker, President Obama, Vice President Biden, Members of Congress, distinguished readers of my blog and all other fellow Americans and oh I guess my manager Mr. Bricks:
Things are messed up and I am making some sweeping changes to get people back to work and to find ways to better stimulate the economy. So that is why I am happy to announce here today that all shopping malls in America will now be required to stay open 24 hours a day. This new requirement for each store will force them to hire more people to increase their staff to be able to be open 24 hours a day as required. Ok, I just added about One Million jobs, how hard was that?
The housing crisis in America has lingered on way too long. This is why I have decided to put a stop on all home mortgage foreclosures. We will go back to the way this country was founded and give squatter rights to each and every homeowner in the country as long as they are occupying their own home. However, if you have rental property and do not occupy it, then that now becomes the property of the current renters occupying the dwelling. This will be a great equalizer of all home prices. Since no one is now in jeopardy of losing their home, I just solved the housing crisis, how hard was that? Now some of you will be screaming that is a redistribution of wealth and maybe it is. But so what. If you don’t like it, write your own State of the Union address.
As a girl and as a proud Greek American I have noticed we have become a nation divided. As much as we would like to think all Americans are the same, we are not. We must begin to address our differences. I have found a way to unite us. So, no matter what internet service provider you use, whether you use a Mac or a PC, if you are hard-wired or wireless, we all must find ways to get along. We need to set aside our differences and welcome Google users into the homes of Bing or Yahoo search engine users and they too must welcome a Google user into their home. Is is only through our differences that we will be able to find our similarities. Now I know that last sentence didn’t make any sense at all, but it sounded really cool. Ok, the Greek Blonde Girl just solved the diversity issue, how hard was that?
Taxes are way too stinking high. The current thought is that we need taxes to pay for all of the social service programs. You are right, therefore we are discontinuing all freebies and government handouts. The one program that will continue is social security. You get out what you put in. Ok, I just balanced the budget and ended the deficit.
My dad came to this country from Greece with $20 in his pocket. He actually had more but was robbed when he stepped off of the airplane at the at the airport. OK, wait that whole getting robbed part isn’t true, I just want to say, if you want something in life work for it. If you come from another country great! That’s how we were founded. But you no longer get free food, free education, free housing, free transportation, free Laker Tickets… Wait a minute. Oh what are you saying? You mean this country doesn’t look so enticing any more? Good. Ok, I just solved our illegal immigration problem.
In conclusion, we still live in a great country, but we need to stand up, speak out and take our country back…hey I feel a song coming on here….
Good day my fellow Americans.
You can check out my song “We The People” on YouTube by clicking here.