Today’s blog is written by Guest Dogger Bloggers BoBo, Itty Bitty, Punkin and Pookie.
Enough of this crap. The four of us can only sit back for so long before we were compelled to speak up against the so-called goody two shoes image our Doggie Mommie Ava is trying to paint of herself on this blog. As that pudgy TV psychologist Dr. Phil says, “Get Real.”
She is always talking about how healthy she eats. Well this is some of the crap that really goes on in our house. Last night she was watching a movie and when the movie got over around 1 am she ate a candy bar! That’s healthy? Mom said it was something called a Zone Bar and Mom assured us it was really healthy, but hey, it has chocolate and it is all gooey inside. We say that is a candy bar no matter what she calls it. Well if it was so healthy why didn’t she give us a small bite? We would understand if it was real chocolate because we can’t eat chocolate, that would make us poop ourselves to death.
Our Doggie Mommy is always telling us to pick up our doggie toys, yet a quick glance around any room in the house and it is scattered with wall-to-wall sneakers. Why doesn’t Miss Fancy Pants learn to pick up her own stuff if she expects us to pick up our toys? Sounds like a double standard to us. But her noggin doesn’t see it like that.
We’re not going to lie, all 4 of us are dogs and we all love to sleep. In fact sleeping is one of our favorite pastimes. (well Bobo also likes licking his own butt too) But none of us can sleep as many hours as Miss Van Winkle can. Holy crap, we had never seen anyone take so many frequent 4 hour “power naps” as she does. She says she needs her beauty sleep. We will give her that, she is pretty.
Our Doggie Mommy says she is Greek. We are doubtful of that. We think she is just making up a fancy pedigree of her own. We know a terrier mix down the street who says he is a bichon frise. Our Doggie Mommy is an actress after all – so nothing will surprise us.
Another thing about our Mom Ava that gets us hot under the collar is how she treats her manager Mr. Bricks. She treats him like…ahem, a dog. We like Mr. Bricks, we think he is a funny old man. Whenever we see him he always has food in his pockets like old cookies or half eaten sandwiches to feed us. And Mr. Bricks always gets down on the floor to play with us and scratches our bellies. We all giggle when he tries to stand up because he usually wobbles all over just trying to catch his balance. We think it is hard for him to stand up because he is over weight and he has that lazy eye. Whatever the reason its kinda funny to watch and we like Mr. Bricks. We feel bad for him and just wished our Doggie Mom would not boss Mr. Bricks around so much.
Another thing that is not fun in the Aston household is watching TV with our Mom. OMG, I think we all would rather get sprayed by a skunk than to have to sit through a night of TV watching with her. We don’t think she knows that when she screams at the TV the people can not hear her. How blonde can she be? I mean we’re dogs and we even know that they can’t hear her. She says she thinks Mr. Bricks should lose weight and eat healthier, yet one of her favorite shows to watch is “The Biggest Loser” – which is all about fat people who use to eat doughnuts, but now have that lady Jilliann yelling at them to eat right, keep working out and to get a positive attitude. Hmmm, that kinda sounds like a typical phone conversation Mom has with Mr. Bricks on a daily basis.
Well, you-know-who is awake now and she needs to use this computer to check for email and to update her Facebook, Twitter, Ping and YouTube pages, which she does like a bazillion times a day instead of paying attention to us. So we better sign off for now.
So hopefully we shed a little light on Ms. Goody Two Shoes and you can get to know her like we know her. Don’t let her pretty face fool yah. But we do hope you continue to enjoy her blogs, enjoy her music and her wicked fun sense of humor. Just be glad and count your lucky stars that you don’t have to live with her. To borrow her favorite word…it’s Muckery!!
Love and Fishes,
BoBo, Punkin, Pookie and Itty Bitty