Don’t get me wrong, I like saving money just like the next person, but what is up with all of the grocery store coupons? I’m a Greek girl, and the only thing us Greek girls likes better than shopping is going shopping and getting a discount on what we buy. That is why I personally love Kohl’s. For every $50 I spend I get a $10 in Kohl’s Cash…but my Kohl’s experience is a blog subject for another blog day. Today it’s all about those rabid ladies and all of their clipped coupons.
Yesterday I ran to the local market for some fresh-cut flowers and a few other items. I thought it would be a quick 5-minute errand. WRONG. Turns out Wednesday is a day the newspapers run their mid-week supermarket sale ads. They always have a few coupons that are good for that day only. Oh lucky me.
So there I was trying to play supermarket roulette, you know where you try to decide which line would be the fastest? Normally you just park your cart in the shortest line or behind the person who has the fewest items. But because it was “Coupon Wednesday” it was like they were filming an episode of Supermarket Sweeps in there. It was total muckery. There were Soccer moms weaving in and out of the aisles like Dale Earnhardt, Jr at the Daytona 500. They were pushing their carts and running around in their sneakers snatching up anything that slightly resembled the picture on their coupons in their hands.
It didn’t matter what line I went to because every lane I checked had two or three people in line and it seemed like each one of them had about 500 items in their shopping cart, so I knew I was pretty much screwed no matter which checkout lane I decided on.
Since I knew I was in for a wait no matter what line I chose, I picked the one with two pleasant-looking older ladies with beehive hairdo. There must have been a 2-for-1 coupon down at the Beauty Barn as well, because their hairdo’s were spittin’ images of each other and clearly the masterpieces of someone who knew how to fix only one hair style. I kinda laughed to myself thinking that in 50 years that is going to be me and one of my sisters, beehive hairdo and all.
So these ladies were chatting and comparing their full shopping carts as if they were pirates eyeing treasure chests full of loot! And then I found out why. They whipped out their coupons. It seemed like the Baldwin Sisters were taking full advantage of every coupon that the store has ever offered. They were going to make the store suffer for offering coupons and they would split their bounty later.
Their extreme couponing would explain why they were buying 16 boxes of Swiss Miss Cocoa, 20 cans of Campbell’s chunky soup, 14 boxes of Nabisco Shredded Wheat, 16 loaves of Wonder Bread, 8 boxes of Kellogg’s Raisin Bran, 4 bags of Taco Flavored Doritos, 6 gallons of milk, 12 DiGiorno frozen pepperoni pizzas, 4 cases of Dr. Pepper, 6 heads of lettuce, 8 cans of olives and 48 rolls of extra ply Scott toilet paper. I wanted to recommend that if they intend on eating all of that Raisin Bran at one sitting perhaps they might consider getting twice as much toilet paper, but I decided to keep my Greek mouth shut.
One by one as the checker scanned their items these adorable ladies would first look at each other, then find a corresponding coupon from the brightly colored organizer that said “COUPONS” on the front and then they looked at me. I mean directly at me! They wanted this Greek girl to know that they were the Queens of Extreme Couponing and with each ka-ching of savings they wanted me to know just how much they were saving!
When they got to the DiGiorno frozen pizzas they turned and smiled and then one of them looked at me and said “BOGO.” For a moment I thought I was in an episode of the Twilight Zone. I looked at her and said, “excuse me?” You see I have a dog named Bobo and I thought she was making a reference to one of my dogs. She smiled and said, “BOGO.” I said, “Bogo” and she smiled again and said, “Yes, BOGO. Buy One, Get One free” I smiled and nodded as if I was up to date on the coupon lingo.
What seemed like an hour later when the cashier was done scanning the items and their coupons I was stunned to hear him say, “That’ll be $11.89” They got their change from the $20 bill they handed the cashier and turned and smiled as they walked away. These spinsters were walking out of the market with a truck load of food and because they had coupons and were buying items that were
Bobo BOGO, they were paying way less than $20.00.
I had my flowers and a handful of other items scanned and the cashier said, $31.46, that just doesn’t compute in my noggin.
Photo of Ava Aston 2011 © Ava Aston All Rights Reserved