You are in line at the Piggly Wiggly picking up the gallon of milk that your sweetie just texted you to pick up on your way home from work when you notice the lady in front of you is buying a large bag of pork rinds, a bag of circus peanuts, some licorice, a king-sized Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup candy bar, taco chips with hot spicy cheese sauce and chile, and a super sized mega fountain drink when all of the sudden her cell phone goes off.
Her ring tone: Let’s Get Physical – Olivia Newton John
A more appropriate ring tone: I like Big Butts – Sir Mix-A-Lot
You are in the stall of the bathroom. Someone enters the stall next to you when all of the sudden their cell phone goes off.
Their ring tone: Taking Care of Business – Bachman Turner Overdrive
A more appropriate ring tone: Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas
It’s been 5 years since you had a new driver’s license and so you pack a lunch, some bacterial wipes and head to the DMV for the long boring wait to renew your license. You are scanning all of the employees trying to figure out which one you will get. You are next in line and you do not want the older lady on the end with the tattooed make-up and ill fitting wig because she is slower than a turtle and has been averaging one customer every 1.2 hours. Before she could call your number her cell phone goes off.
The DMV employee’s ring tone: Bad Day – Daniel Powter
A more appropriate ring tone: Wake Me Up When September Ends – Green Day
You decide to do the right thing and go to church on a nice spring Sunday morning. You are about to participate in Holy Communion when all of the sudden the man sitting in the pew in front of you has his cell phone start ringing.
His ring tone: What The Hell – Avril Lavigne
A more appropriate ring tone: Jesus is Just Alright – Doobie Brothers
I am skyping Mr. Bricks and his circa 1978 cell phone goes off in the background and guess what his ring tone song is???
- An Ava Aston song
- A Buck Owens/Porter Wagoner duet
- A Broadway show tune
- The McDonald’s Jingle
- Mr. Bricks cell phone is too old to be able to download ringtones