Ok, so I am flipping through the channels and I find there is this new reality series on called the “Casey Anthony Trial”. I am thinking cool, “Something to sooth my noggin in between reruns of The Mob Wives and The Real Housewives of Atlanta”. Then it dawns on me, this is a real case, where a mom is being tried for killing her two-year-old daughter. What!?! I can not believe some of the things coming out of that court room and feeling sad to see such a messed up family while at the same time thinking are you for real? That is just crazy! What in the world would drive someone to do such a thing? Then something else totally not normal would pop up and there my noggin goes again. So now I am glued to the tube with popcorn in one hand and Vitamin Water Zero in the other.
Then it turns out that during this whole saga the main focus is on what the Jury will decide and all I can think is, what do they look like? They never show you who is on the jury during the case, so I am told. (I did look it up on Snopes Don’tcha know.) Anyway, so I am sitting there listening to Geraldo Rivera dissect the case like a madman when I realized what agony it must be for these 12 people and their alternates. Sure it must be fun and exciting to some degree to sit in on an internationally known court case, but can you imagine having to be forced to sit next to someone every single day all day long for 6 weeks? Seriously, all I could think was, “What if I get picked for jury duty to decide if someone dies or not and all the while I have to sit next to someone like Mr. Bricks for 6 weeks”. I would probably be the poster child for what they define as a hung jury, just sayin’.
Seriously though, this whole process of being a juror is something I am sure glad I have never had to do. Well officially that is. There was the threat that if I had attempted to put it off one more time or not show up for that matter, there would be a bounty out for me with a bench warrant for my arrest. I mean seriously don’t they realize I am busy going to auditions, writing songs and working out? Besides have you seen this Greek blonde girl? I don’t think you would want me deciding your fate. I have two points against me, I didn’t pay attention in my law classes in high school and I can’t stand stupidity. So if you come across as being one of those criminals (who by the way are stupid) I am going to convict you. I just am not having it. Not to mention I would be one heck of an angry juror because I am being forced to sit next to Mr. Bricks and try to avoid his lazy eye.
All I am saying is, I am glad I didn’t make it to being a selected juror because I can tell you for sure, they would have to make a remake to that classic film and call it “One Angry Greek Blonde Juror” and I can tell you how it would end, they all would not pass go and would not collect $200. They would be going to the clink with no chance of a get out of jail free card, guilty or not. If you waste my time by putting me in the juror box I might just implode and that my blog friends is a promise.
P/S: You can’t wear sneakers in jury duty. That is mucked up for real.