Why Do Old People Expose Themselves

Note to Naked Old People... guidelines for speedo wearing see above.

So my two sisters come into town to visit me over the weekend.  Despite the fact that three Greek Girls under one roof is crazy enough, imagine how it is when one of them decides “Hey, we should go to the beach”.  HELLO… can we say “Muckery Central?…” Sure it’s all fun and games until we get there and see an 85 yr. old man in a speedo (and we’re not talking about the Jack Lalane type either, and no it wasn’t Mr. Bricks ~ Thank you God).  This subconsciously leads us all to begin wondering if we look good in a bikini or not?  Now of course you can stop asking because yes we do, but it’s just a default chip programmed in every girls brain.  Greek girls have two of these chips – one for each side…. one for the Baklava and one for the spinach pie – just sayin.

On with the story…. besides the fact that my one sister’s psychotic dog, (yes I did say psychotic people, it was actually eating the wall while we were gone) was at home unattended terrorizing my own four fur-kids.  Oh to be a fly on the wall at the doggie party…  So there we were, sitting there all comfy, blanket down, snacks and iced happiness ready to go, chairs properly positioned to bake ourselves into a golden spender (yes we were wearing sunscreen – no it wasn’t olive oil – or made from olive oil extract) and BAM there it goes again.  But this time it wasn’t a man it was a woman…. wearing a thong bikini old enough to be my grama and lets just say on the very heavy side, she could have been on the senior version of the Biggest Looser ~ just sayin.  So just as we blink… we happen to notice that she has not one but two tattoos larger than my head on each side of her butt.  No I’m not kidding people.  Then comes the highlight of the day:  its’ a toss up between the super skinny swimmer guy who decides he’s gonna take a shower and expose himself in the public sprayer to remove the sand or…. the woman who dove into the water and had both boobs flop out of her top and proceed to act like nothing was wrong.  No guys it was not Gisele Bundchen.

Now I’m not saying I don’t love old people nor appreciate them, because I do.  I adore my yaya and my grama in heaven, and I even sang for nursing homes after classes when I was in high school 😀 However… What is it about some older people who do not seem to get it that it is not kosher to wear less than Lady Gaga on the beach.  I know they say less is more, and this is most often the case, but not so much when you have not kept away father time by taking excellent care of your miracle body like Jack Lalane.  Anyone who knows me knows how much I adored the guy and if you are old and you look like that, be my guest wear what you want.

In the words of one of my other fitness hero’s Tony Horton “Aging Schmaging, you can get all old and crotchety, or you can be in shape.” I donno about you, but I’m going for the latter.  Thus my working out like a machine.

Have a blessed day & don’t forget the sunblock!

Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava 😀 xox

About Ava Aston's Muckery

Hello! Thanks for stopping by. My name is Ava Aston and I am a recording artist and actress. I'm just an ordinary girl who acts, sings, writes songs and now writes this blog. I hope you enjoy my blogging enough to want to subscribe. Blessings, Ava If you want to learn even more about me, check out my website at www.avaaston.com
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1 Response to Why Do Old People Expose Themselves

  1. padiofarty says:

    Im 54 and look like an 18 yr old – because i keep looking at me old school photo – there again I lift weights 4 times a day and I can still touch me toes 400 times a day – mind you, its a hell of a journey trying to get over my pregnant pal but at least I get to see me willy 400 times a day and its been quite a while since we conversed.

    When I was in my mid 20s and on one of my fitness kicks at the gym I met a man of 70 – small, very wiry guy – he had musculature – he didnt lift much weight, but he did plenty of repetitions – 5 years prior to that he told me he had to walk using two sticks (he said he had had arthritis) and at the time I met him he was as jolly and fit as a teen – and you should have seen the smile on his wife’s face when she came to pick him up at the end of his exercise session – now I know why she had the big smile!!!

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