Come on guys, it is not that difficult to give your girl a sincere compliment. Sure, it goes against every code of ethics from, The Guide to Being A Real Man handbook that is left for you on your bed in your new college dorm room.
It is a good thing this handbook is not handed to boys in high school because their sensitive still-developing noggins couldn’t handle that much information. It would short circuit those cantaloupes out because they are just now discovering the finer things in life. Like college football all day on Saturday, beer and yes, the boobs… hopefully on girls, Good Gravy, not man boobs like Mr. Bricks has.
Because I am 100% a girl (thanks for noticing) I am not allowed to read the handbook. But my noggin tells me in there somewhere it’s gotta talk about manners and compliments. For those Neanderthal types who are just looking at the computer screen and thinking, Manners? Compliments? What are they Greek Girl? Allow me to explain, that is why I wrote today’s blog. Here is the definition of manners and compliments:
a : the prevailing customs, ways of living, and habits of a people, class, period, etc
b: ways of behaving with reference to polite standards ; social comportment
a : an expression of esteem, respect, affection, or admiration; especially : an admiring remark
Now that we have all of the text book stuff out of the way and since I am not allowed to go near the man’s version of the book or my noggin will explode, I want to share with you an excerpt of what I am calling: “The Greek Girl’s Guide to Treating A Lady Like A Lady”
- Never try and ask a girl to go steady while belching
- Don’t spit chew into a paper cup and expect a kiss in the same week
- Don’t hold open the door at a restaurant as a way to check out her butt. Do it because it is the polite thing to do and keep your eyes up
- Limit any conversations on a date to no more than 3 different farm animals
- Ketchup is not a side dish. Use it sparingly
- If a waitress asks if you want condiments for your hamburger try not to giggle
- If a girl smells nice, tell it to her. But do not say she smells like a bunch of flowers and junk
- When she grabs your arm or hand while walking it is not a solicitation on her part for an arm wrestling match or an iron grip death match. Just freakin’ hold her hand/arm gently
- Girls who wanna fit into their skinny jeans don’t like to go to buffets. Don’t tempt us
- Look closer on your deodorant-it says use daily, just sayin’
- Bringing a wingman on a date is not romantic
- Don’t try and impress her with your fast driving. Her aunt could be Danica Patrick and Danica could out drive you any day
- Don’t look at the menu and say, “wow, they raised their prices” if you are at Wendy’s or McDonalds
- If you get pulled over by the cops don’t ask her to hold your bag of weed “just for a second”
- When you invite a girl over make sure there are no smells that are unidentifiable
- Most girls just spent 2 hours fixing up their hair. Don’t touch her head unless you are a licensed hair stylist
- Handcuffs dangling from your car’s rear view mirror are uncool. Furry handcuffs dangling from your car’s rear view mirror are uncool and creepy
- If she allows you to give her a kiss – keep it at a kiss on the check or a quick peck on her lips. Don’t go in for a full tonsillectomy with your tongue
- Try not to answer her questions with grunts or a series of short unaudiible grunts. That is so 10,000 BC.
- Please do not be like my buddy Lou Bega and brag that you got a girl in Rome, you got a girl in the Vatican dome or if you got a girl right here or if you got a girl right there. Don’t tell her that you have a girlfriend everywhere. She doesn’t wanna know that you got a girl on the moon, got a girl on mars or that you got a girl that likes to dance in the stars. Just make her feel special!!!
Have a great day.