What is it about GPS that requires you need a PHD to actually use the stinking thing? I swear it’s like the mad scientists who came up with the whole GPS idea spent too much time in Colorado worried about passing the law to allow legalization of marijuana or something because most of the time they just don’t work.
Okay, well maybe it could be operator error, or maybe it’s the blonde Greek thing. Which in my world means I can be a bit dramatic and a little “challenged” when it comes to technology to say the least. I would love to have my own personal full-time 24/7 techie-minion. You know, someone who can make all my technology muckery go away. Considering I’m on my 5th or even 6th iPhone I am stilly having enough a hard time working the dang thing. You would think by now I would get it. But no, those so-called “geniuses” had to go and change the Apps for the iPhone and come up with some cockamamy concotion they call “maps”. Have you tried this thing yet?
What makes it worse is that I think the same “geniuses” worked on a scheme for VW built into GPS to make my life all that more difficult. Did they not think about the fact that if “texting” and driving is a bad idea – using GPS while driving is probably not a good move either… Hello? Even the Blondie over here gets that.
So picture this. I book an acting job outside the city somewhere in Connecticut. It’s of course in a town I’ve never been to. So what do I do? I get my GPS in order. Now, as simple as you may think this is, it’s not that straight forward let me tell you. Instead of being a 1 or 2 step process, it is actually more like a 25 step process all to get me lost and late by almost an hour. Can anyone say Oy Vey?!?
1. Check the address. Check it again.
2. Print the address and check it again.
3. Pull up Google Maps on my computer and check the address.
4. Cross reference the address three more times and check for alternate routes.
5. Put the address in my iPhone and check the map that Apple provides and realize it’s not the same.
6. Check Bing maps and see it’s not the same.
7. Ask my sweetie to help me and make sure I have the right address and realize he’s just as challenged.
8. Go for a walk to relieve the stress because I am going to have to drive myself there alone.
9. Print off the address and step-by-step directions just in case.
10. Ask my sweetie to input the address in the GPS in the car.
11. Verify the address is in the car all set and ready to go.
12. Make sure the address is set in my iPhone and ready to go.
13. Press start and realize the lady GPS guide’s voice is way too low and fidget with the dang thing to adjust it. It doesn’t work so I just hope I don’t get lost. Not really sure which Genius decided it was a good idea to set the GPS to have the “sound automatically turn to silent” after each use…
14. Immediately realize the address is changing and the mileage is changing and it is telling me I am going the wrong way.
15. Begin breathing slow and deep to avoid a nervous breakdown.
16. Call my sweetie to make sure I am ok and not going to get lost.
17. Take him at his word and keep going just before I realize the route changed “again”.
18. Call my sweetie one more time to ask advice. (big mistake as he’s driving the other direction now).
19. Listen as he tells me to avoid the GPS direction and take the next exit for a totally different highway. Can anyone say OY VEY!?!?
20. Follow the route just as he realizes he told me the wrong direction.
21. Pull over in a panic in the middle of the highway and have that nervous breakdown I was avoiding 20 minutes ago.
22. Call in a frenzy that I am going to be late.
23. Push about 200 buttons trying to figure out the dang GPS and get to my destination once and for all.
24. Attempt to follow the crazy lady in the GPS and see where on God’s green Earth she is taking me; over the river and through the woods – literally.
25. 40 minutes later arrive somewhere back in civilization and 20 more minutes get to my destination.
The best part is that at the end of it all, I had to go home and use the GPS yet again. Somebody please help me. If only I had a techie-minion or a big-time record deal where I could hire a driver I would be all set. Then I could be on time for more things. Oh who am I kidding? Everyone is just way too early. ;D
Blessings, Love & Music ~