We all get an unlimited amount of those forwarded emails sent to our computer’s inbox with jokes or stupid stuff that says if we don’t send it to 10 friends with in 24 hours we will get bad luck.
Well, today is St. Patrick’s Day and the luck of de Irish be with ye’ today lads, because the Greek girl’s personal leprechaun, aka Ole’ Man Bricks hand delivered her a pot of gold with a forwarded one of those emails. But no need to annoy 10 of your best friends by forwarding it on (like Mr. Bricks did to me) I have a lot happening up in my Noggin, so I decided to answer the questions that they said you can’t answer.
Here is a copy of the email that Mr. Bricks forwarded to me and 10 friends so he would not get bad luck. (hmmm, I did not know he even had 10 friends! And in the off chance he does, obviously none of them work at a record label – just sayin’)
The questions are in bold and my answers are directly below each question.
—– Original Message —–To: AvaAston@yahoo.comFrom: Mr. BricksSent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 6:32 PMSubject: FW: Questions you just can’t answerHey Ava, I don’t really believe in these email chain things, but just in case, I don’t need the bad luck.>Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?So you can tell the difference bewteen him and Cheeta> Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dying?Like a tube of toothpaste, we’re just trying to squeeze every little bit of juice out of them> Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?Because they are idiots -just sayin’> Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?Because it matches their outfits and shoes??> Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?Because it is easier to check for wet paint than count to 4 billion> Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?Some man named Stephen Pfeiffer because he was upset at his parents for giving him a first name (pronouced steven) and a last name (pronounced Fiffer) that everyone screws up on.> What is the speed of darkness?I don’t know I can’t read the speedometer, it’s too dark to see it> Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?I have the same issue when people say they just want a cat nap…don’t cats sleep for like 12 hours long at a stretch?> Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?I think Mr. Bricks is proof that single people live a very, very long time> How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?Because it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to pull a suitcase through an airport> Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?Because standing on the ground with binoculars looking into tall buildings makes you a peeping Tom.Did you ever stop and wonder…… > > Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”I’m pretty sure it was my manager Mr. Bricks. That sounds like something he would do.> Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?No, but every time I try and spell my own name out of Alphabet Soup I never can find a “V”> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?Welcome to my world. With me it is x 4, a dog out of every window> Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?No, but doesn’t it make you feel like you are in control?Don’t break the chain!!!! You must forward this on to 10 of your best friends in the next 24 hours or something really bad might happen.
May the Luck of the
IrishGreek Be With You. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!